Possibilities

She wakes up this morning knowing she will be happy. There is a space inside of her and beyond her where an infinity of possibilities just dancing in front of her eyes.

There was that moment when she left him the other day in the morning. That precise moment very short, very furtive when she knew. What she knew, what she felt was common to her a long time ago, the time when she was in love. When she left his apartment, when they kissed goodbye, when he held her in his arms, she knew that love has hit her. Gently, softly but very clearly. And that was just it. Like an evidence. Not a surprise. She did not think of what could happen after that feeling. Would it work out between them ? Would they be available for each other ? Would he love her back ? These questions were not relevant as the present moment, the moment of this new-born love, was more important. She was honest to herself. She accepted to be in love. With him and with them and with their story. In this space where they are and where they were, anything can be possible. They are who they are, and they can be no one, and anything could happen to them, as long as there is this connection and intimacy. Because to be anything else, first there should be a connection.

Even knowing that she could get hurt or she could suffer, the suffering is still part of this infinity of possibilities. They have found each other. Somehow, somewhere in their lost souls and extreme loneliness, they have met and they have made space for each other. Short moments, long moments, intense moments they gave to each other. The kisses. The talks. The gazes. The naked bodies. What they offered to each other was never insignificant. Their lives so apart and yet so close, close in the search for another soulmate, or simply for a beautiful connection.

She wakes up this morning, accepting that kind of destiny. The kind of destiny that includes the love for him or the beginning of the love for him. Her heart is full. That is how she starts her day. In a space of infinite possibilities and he is one of them.

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The naked truth

“Life is a lot more fragile than we think. So you should treat others in a way that leaves no regrets. Fairly, and if possible, sincerely.” (Dance Dance Dance – Haruki Murakam)

We had been lovers

In between an unborn friendship

Sweet undefined romance

Floating in cloudy water

Troubled transparency

No confessed lies

Only omissions and the unspoken

Weak words hiding truth

While being each other’s lover

We offered each other our bodies

Our hearts stayed selfish

Being kept for someone else

Then came the day

We decided to stop the oversight

Admitting the unavoidable

The love for other persons could never die

Our affection to each other could never end

We decided to go naked

Only truth this time

To give birth to a friendship

We had stopped to be lovers

To fully love the other persons

Keeping for ourselves

That sweet romance

Still undefined

In a naked truth

Come get this love if you want to…

Today I have grown up.

It was a painful decision to grow up but it was necessary.

Today I put down the mask.

I said serious things.

I decided to say the real truth.

Not the one I have made up to spare you of my feelings.

Today I am honest.

I love you.

I want more.

I want you, I want us with all our lives, luggages and freedoms.

I have conceptualized you for months.

I said I could live without you, with you as an absence and concept. Bull shit !

I love you and I want to give this love to you.

You can keep your freedom. My love is there to care not to tie you down.

I don’t joke about love anymore. I am being serious and committed.

If you don’t want it, drop me a word.

I will walk away because you don’t want me in your life.

Not because you think that I am being a foolish person inventing a concept to run away from love.

I will wait for you.

I will seize any chance I have to get us to live our story.

I am tired that you think I am not sincere and serious.

I am tired that you scared because I play the fool.

Come to me, get back to me!

Come get this “unconceptualized” love.

And transform it into real you and me.

For a moment.

Or a lifetime.

It’s up to you.

You have that decision.

I will be here waiting.

Today I have grown up.