In Tulum I have learned to miss you less

photo-58Last week I was in Tulum, Mexico. I touched base with nature and earth. Only me, the infinitely desert beaches and some palm trees. Mornings arrive early in Tulum. At five in the morning, I already found myself lost in the blue sky, barefoot in the sand, following the curves of the horizon, listening to my usual music. Then, nights come early in Tulum. At eight in the evening, there were only me and the sound of waves.

In Tulum, I have learned to live with an empty mind and simplicity. Simplicity in my heart, simplicity in my smiles to the warmhearted people around me. I have learned to live in the dark of the night, with no electricity in my bungalow. I fell asleep sometimes thinking of you and surprisingly, most of the time not.

In this simple life my soul has found peace, more than usual. In this simple life, I have learned to not miss you. Not to be obsessed by your absence.

In Tulum of quietness, I have learned to miss you less in order to love you more. Like the waves, these feelings of missing you came abruptly, hit me strongly then go away as quickly as they could. Somehow predictable like when I was standing at the beach and waiting for the waves to come and get me. I swallowed these waves or they swallowed me. I did not know. The difference did not matter. Then again, things came back to normal. Calm and quiet. Like the mornings. Like the nights in Tulum.photo-59 I have learned to write to you less than usual.

I have learned to miss you less than usual.

I was renewed.

In Tulum.

In order to love you more

Back here at home.photo-61

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The challenge of Tulum

“I’m the kind of person who likes to be by himself. To put a finer point on it, I’m the type of person who doesn’t find it painful to be alone. I find spending an hour or two every day running alone, not speaking to anyone, as well as four or five hours alone at my desk, to be neither difficult nor boring. I’ve had this tendency ever since I was young, when, given a choice, I much preferred reading books on my own or concentrating on listening to music over being with someone else. I could always think of things to do by myself.” (What I talk about when I talk about running – Haruki Murakami)

I travel alone a lot. The last few days I was checking for a destination at Christmas. I finally chose Tulum in Mexico. Pictures of one of my friends had made me dream. I had never seen such beautiful pictures of beaches and palm trees. I was hypnotized by the colors of the island. I said to myself. This must be the place to relax, think, write and read. My aim is also to go for a yoga retreat. I imagine myself practicing yoga every morning in front of the ocean. Unlimited view and free spirit. But when I checked the websites of the hotels. Every single one has a “wedding” section. This place like a paradise is for honeymoons. Pictures of roses and couples in white running to the ocean, pictures of candle lights and delicious dishes and tables set for two, all on the websites.

First I said: “Damn”. Then I imagine myself in the paradise decor with couples around me, newly weds. Every morning at breakfast. Every night at dinner. This is definitely something to think over before booking the ticket. Not the bugs, not the mosquitos, not the poor Internet connection on the island. The couples everywhere on the island is to be considered. Will I be ok and not frustrated? I think I will be fine. Being surrounded by couples still in love never depresses me. Instead it will give me joy and belief in something I completely lost faith. If I feel their harmony I will like it. If at breakfast they already don’t have anything to say to each other, if they look unhappy, if their faces are sad with no smiles, then I will feel relieved being alone and by myself. Either way I am good.

I am the kind of person who can easily be alone and not be sad, because I never feel pity for myself.

Of course I could also choose a destination where family and friends can welcome me. Vietnam, Thailand would be an easy choice. But traveling alone has its own delicious and particular taste and it always seems more tempting to me.

And then, it seems like these beautiful pictures dance in front of my eyes and whisper: “Come, come, come!”.

Tulum seems waiting for me already. And I am ready for Tulum too.