Possibilities

She wakes up this morning knowing she will be happy. There is a space inside of her and beyond her where an infinity of possibilities just dancing in front of her eyes.

There was that moment when she left him the other day in the morning. That precise moment very short, very furtive when she knew. What she knew, what she felt was common to her a long time ago, the time when she was in love. When she left his apartment, when they kissed goodbye, when he held her in his arms, she knew that love has hit her. Gently, softly but very clearly. And that was just it. Like an evidence. Not a surprise. She did not think of what could happen after that feeling. Would it work out between them ? Would they be available for each other ? Would he love her back ? These questions were not relevant as the present moment, the moment of this new-born love, was more important. She was honest to herself. She accepted to be in love. With him and with them and with their story. In this space where they are and where they were, anything can be possible. They are who they are, and they can be no one, and anything could happen to them, as long as there is this connection and intimacy. Because to be anything else, first there should be a connection.

Even knowing that she could get hurt or she could suffer, the suffering is still part of this infinity of possibilities. They have found each other. Somehow, somewhere in their lost souls and extreme loneliness, they have met and they have made space for each other. Short moments, long moments, intense moments they gave to each other. The kisses. The talks. The gazes. The naked bodies. What they offered to each other was never insignificant. Their lives so apart and yet so close, close in the search for another soulmate, or simply for a beautiful connection.

She wakes up this morning, accepting that kind of destiny. The kind of destiny that includes the love for him or the beginning of the love for him. Her heart is full. That is how she starts her day. In a space of infinite possibilities and he is one of them.

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Ich liebe Dich

Almost two months ago, I met a wonderful person. Who had become my friend. Thanks to him, I discovered Ludwig Hirsch, a great austrian songwriter and singer.

I don’t understand all of the german/austrian lyrics but each of his songs moves me. And if I let go, I could cry at the first notes.

I chose this song because “Ich liebe dich” we can all understand. The language of love is universal and easy.

I share this song to all of you, dear friends of my blog.

I share back this song to you, my friend, you who had shared to me Ludwig Hirsch and many more songs. Words are sometimes misunderstood. Words are source of misunderstandings and multiple subjective interpretations. So here is the song for you too this morning. Beyond words, letting go all complicated paths. Just listen to the song. Music is all we have, let make it rule our friendship.

Love and light to all

Marry me !

“How are you today ?”, he asked. After a week seeing me crying, whining, acting like a drama queen.

“I am a bit better now.”

“Good”, he smiled gently at me.

“Because I have come to a very important decision”, I said.

“…”

“I decided to ask you to marry me. In the poverty, in wealth, in sickness, in good health. What else? Until death tears us apart.”

“Good. Let’s do it. I let you take care of announcing the news to the family, ok ?”, he answered.

I love his answer. See, that is what I like about youth. Say that to a man of 38 years old, no, first you can never say that to a man you date if he is from 35 to 55 years old. It would destroy your relationship right away, I think. But when you say it to your cute friend of 20 years old, he gets enthusiastic about the idea. Maybe or certainly because he knows that nothing could ever happen, because the barrier of age and the reality will always save him from a real commitment. Still, he could have said nothing back.

No, no and no. It is not a matter of age. He is just like that. A heroic, chivalrous, knightly kind of man/kid. He is so bountiful to me, that’s all.

He is just like that. It is just the way he is. And that is why he is my joy. An answer like that enchants you for days. Believe me. Especially when I was the one who talked about marriage knowing deep down that I am protected by our difference of age. Funny isn’t it ?

Youth

The other day I was with a group of friends of my age (above 35). They started to ask me why I have seen them less and less lately and instead I prefer meeting young friends, less than 28 years old. I perceived a slight tone of mockery in their voices. “Don’t you think they don’t have much experiences to share? Don’t you think that conversations could be limited?”.

I felt a strong need to stand up for my young friends. I love young people. I work with young people. I am surrounded with young people. And I truly disagree with my friends.

We live now in a difficult period where unemployment rate gets higher each year. The world is not as sweet as in the 60s, I think. When we could leave the door unlock and nothing could happen. Or in the 70s, the whole hippy and peace period, when love was spread out everywhere. Nowadays young people get out of college and they are not sure to be able to find a decent job. I don’t say that they are more or less optimistic than older people. I think there are no major differences because of the age. It is not about the perception of life. I think we all perceive life and its difficulties in a similar way, young or old. No one is dupe. The difference is how young people deal with life once they see all the flaws and difficulties.

We, old people, are tired, our luggage we have carried through years gets heavier and heavier. Young people travel with a light suitcase. Few experiences. It is not about innocence or purity either because believe me, they are not. It is just the way they embrace life and how they get ready. There is a touch of adventurousness which amazes me each time.

It is their future that I like. I think I like being with them, accompanying them to see how they will turn out, what they would become one day. I think I like being this kind of observer. And I never underestimate the knowledge of kids nowadays. I always learn something new from them.

I like the way they tell me their hopes, their love stories, the way they live or experience sex. They can worry, they can be sad but never in the same way as people of my age. The possibilities of a better life are still with them. They don’t feel the need to stay in couple out of convenience. They don’t feel the need to cheat in couple, they just walk away when they fall out of love.

When I am with them, I see the world with their eyes. Things cannot be that dramatic because there are still so many years to live and many surprises to come. With my friends, we are like in a tunnel. We know that we had lived this or that. We get stuck with each other. We see each other’s situations and we don’t envy that. We are sad creatures talking about the same thing when we are together. I don’t deny them. I don’ want to be young forever either. It is just a feeling: with my young friends, I am a feather. Because my experiences never scare them away and they never judge any of my behaviors. With my friends, I am like a stone.

That was my clumsy way to explain and defend my young friends. I hope I did not hurt the older ones’ feelings. But they need to know. And maybe I am wrong and it is not an issue of age, but rather a question of personality. Maybe young people can be old and old people can stay young in their spirit. I cannot generalize and this is just a thought.

I share this because it is a beautiful sunny day and I will be heading to the lake to meet my young friends now.

Happy afternoon to all !

This is you taking me seriously

I would marry you if you were not only twenty.

You catch me each time I fall.

You said you were not nice on the phone.

And then you used words to comfort me.

You said I need bandage for my broken heart

And you can just stop a brain hemorrhage.

If I came to die, you could have my books, my piano and my harpsichord.

You yelled at me, you almost cried.

I withdraw these bad thoughts.

I would never let you live such sorrows.

Thanks for being just a bandage of my pain.

I need you, MD.