Will you still love me tomorrow ?

Tonight you’re mine completely
You give your love so sweetly
Tonight the light of love is in your eyes
But will you love me tomorrow?

Is this a lasting treasure
Or just a moment’s pleasure?
Can I believe the magic of your sighs?
Will you still love me tomorrow?

Tonight with words unspoken
You say that I’m the only one
But will my heart be broken
When the night meets the morning sun?

I’d like to know that your love
Is love I can be sure of
So tell me now, and I won’t ask again
Will you still love me tomorrow?

 

He thought he did not deserve you. He stepped back so someone else could take his place. For a moment he thought you would be happier like this. He thought you would be better without him and you could build a nice life with someone else. Whatever decision you had made and told him, he accepted without being mad or angry at you. As your best friend, he accepted that you walked away from him.

You have been waiting for him during his trip away from home. He could not offer a conventional couple to you. Even though you did not ask for it. He thought he could not and you could not deal with it. All of these “you thought that I thought”.

He was waiting for you and left you with space. He lets you take him back when you are ready. You had tried with someone else. It did not work out. You have one love and it is HIM. You do not need to explain.

He is there, waiting for you. You open the door and he falls in your arms. He does not say anything and neither do you. You know that in whatever form or shape, you and him would be together this time forever. You are born again. And so is he. You stay in his arms for a long twenty minutes. His head on your shoulder. He squeezes your tiny body with his strong arms. He is beautiful. He smells good. He feels strong. He is strong. You do not look into his eyes. Your legs feel weak. If you look into his eyes, you will faint. Then comes the kiss. The one that defines love. Only by him and you. You feel his lips. You have never been kissed before. You are a virgin. He is your first. This is your first kiss ever. He makes you forget all men who were there before him. Five years ago, you had kissed him for the first time. Each time when your lips touch his, it feels like the first time. He kisses you as if you were his oxygen. Then comes his voice: “It was too long. It was too long. I have waited. I have waited. You can have everything from me, you know that, just ask me.”

And now you look at him. You cannot believe. You think you are dreaming. You look at him. Your love for him is powerful. Your knees are shaking. You fall. He catches you.

“I am poor. I have nothing. I cannot give you much. You know that. If you are with someone else, you  can have a good life. I can wait longer.”

You do not answer right away. You cannot breathe. You fully understand for once the meaning of true love. It is his love for you and yours for him.

“You don’t need to wait. I am here.”

Five years when absence meant nothing to you, challenges were easy, obstacles were insignificant. Five years you have loved him. As a friend. As a best friend. As a lover. As everything you can be. And apparently him too. True love is absolutely beautiful and strange. You can be apart but never separated. In your mind you die with him and your love. You grow old with him. You can live apart or together. This is the most powerful thing you have ever experienced in love.

This morning when you listened to Bryan Ferry’s version of “Will you still love me tomorrow?” , the most beautiful version of this song, you feel cocky because of course he will still love you tomorrow and the day after, and the day after and the day after and in a century time. Like he did these last five years. When you were with him or with someone else.

This morning you stayed longer in bed. You felt warm. Of him inside you. He gives the new meaning to the “making love” words. It all makes sense. You are his virgin. You have never made love with another man before him. There was no men before him and after him. You asked for more. Of him inside you. “You can have everything from me, you know that, just ask me”. He said it once again. You feel your naked body under his strong body. “Say it again please. I want more. I want everything.” He obeyed. You came together. He cried. He is your redemption. You always know that.

I choose destiny

“We each have a special something we can get only at a special time of our life. Like a small flame. A careful, fortunate few cherish that flame, nurture it, hold it as a torch to light their way. But once that flame goes out, it’s gone forever.” (Sputnik Sweetheart – Haruki Murakami)

What comes next is the question I cannot answer.

Things flow and grow the same way as destiny

I don’t withhold anything

I don’t control the situation

Some call it audacity

For me it is just life and the way I live it

First I want to put a name on you

Listen to your songs not alone this time

Hear you sing even though you might not want to

Wait and see

Where destiny can meet us

Or where you can meet me

Either in my thoughts

Or somewhere else

It would be easy for you

To catch me anywhere

As I had promised to think of you

This whole day

Wait and see

If you me and fate

Could become acquaintances

Prayers for my cousin

My two last posts were about motorcycle. What an irony ! My cousin of 21 years-old just got a very bad motorcycle accident. Right arm and hand paralyzed. The news came to me tonight from a mail from my uncle. When the doctor announced to him the bad news, my cousin closed his eyes and did not say a word for a while. Then he said: “No more guitar playing”.

Last week he put on Facebook his status: “yeah, I got a summer job with a desk, a computer and a view on the mountain”. He was proud. Friends and family thumbed up “Like”.

I don’t know what to write tonight. Life is short and in less than a few minutes, your destiny and life could change. Things cannot be rewind.

My summer seems sad, sounds sad. The news hit me when I said good bye to the mother of my lost love. We had dinner together. She was so nice to me. We have a beautiful connection. I walked back home through the Old Town, the cathedral magnificent and proud, illuminated. I was already sad, even before I received the news.

I don’t know what to write so I texted to my cousin: “don’t give up, don’t give up and don’t give up”.

I don’t cry when I am sad. I write instead.

I don’t usually pray. But tonight I pray for my cousin. I hope he won’t give up. I hope you join me to pray for him too.

I hope summer ends quickly so that bad news won’t come anymore.