“The most attractive are not those who allow us to kiss them at once [we soon feel ungrateful] or those who never allow us to kiss them [we soon forget them], but those who coyly lead us between the two extremes.” (On love – Alain de Botton)
You two met through friends. The first time you were with ten people and him. Your connection was instant. You both forgot the outside world and started to talk to each other. It was not seduction. It was more like an exploration of a new person who might become your friend because you were so quickly connected. He was smart. Fun and charming. You set aside from the group. You took a walk with him to another area of the bar. He held your hand through the walk. It was natural. Still not a game of seduction. He smiled at your eyes. He smiled at your smile. Your friends joined you. He still held your hand. Your friends looked at you. Surprised. He did not care. He still held your hand and even pulled you a little bit closer to him to make room for your friends. He was confident in his gestures. It was awesome and beautifully under control. When time came to the moment to say goodbye, he left without asking for your phone number. You were quite surprised but not disappointed. He was too elegant for you to be disappointed. You said to yourself: “Sure I will see him again.”
And you saw him again six weeks after the first time. This time you were with seven people and him. He came and sat very close to you on the grass. Again all natural. Your thighs touched. He put his hand under your thighs. He said it warmed him up a little bit. It started to get dark and chilly. He walked home with you. He pulled his bike beside you. When you arrived at your bus stop, he held you in his arms, just like that. You stayed in his arms. Quiet and peaceful. Six minutes at least, the period of time for the next bus to come. It was indeed a bit chilly at midnight. He said: “You should call me, you know?” You did not have his number and you did not ask for it. You two will meet again you were sure. With or without his number. You became as confident as he was. He kissed you in the neck and let you enter the bus. He was the only man who could touch a woman without having to ask, without a second of hesitation. No surprise effect because it was so natural. His charm and his confidence were more than enough. You liked it. You liked the familiar feeling of floating when being with him. Nothing more than that. Nothing vertiginous. It is a very simple feeling. Unusual for you.
You saw him again the third time. This time you were with a friend and him. Dinner at your place. He became your friend. You still had a lot to discover about him. You promised yourself to explore more of his personality. His charm, his confidence and his smile stayed intact. But this time you discovered some more aspects of him: attentiveness and politeness and his very gentleman manners during the evening. You were sure you will see him again. You had his self-confidence now.
The forth time you were alone with him. He smiled in your eyes like the first time. He talked and slightly touched your knee. More than once. The kiss was still superfluous. The kiss will be for another time. You did not wait for it either. You were confident and now you were patient. You don’t need a kiss for a start. You don’t need a start. You think you just need an enduring nice and indecent proximity. And that he had given you already since the first minute he met you. And more than that, you just liked the very simple feeling of well-being while with him.