Information about you and me

You cannot sleep at night when you are in your hometown.

You like to run when it is dark outside

You don’t take life too seriously

You love rain and thunderstorm

You don’t mind the bad weather

You like neat gardens but also when green grass grow wildly under your feet

Kids think you are one of them

You take coffee late at night and would like to sip it with me somehow

Apparently you look forward to seeing me

These are information about you

It should be enough for the moment

The rest I will find out by myself

I think you are pretty cool

I laugh a lot when I read your mails

I like the right tone of them

When I am with other people I write mails to you

But I think when I am with you, I won’t write to anybody else

I like your playlists

I look forward to seeing you too

These are information about me

It should be enough for the moment

The rest you will have to find out by yourself

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Can you just stay there?

“So I made up my mind I was going to find someone who would love me unconditionally three hundred and sixty-five days a year.

Watanabe: Wow, and did your search pay off?

M: That’s the hard part. I guess I’ve been waiting so long I’m looking for perfection. That makes it tough.”

(Norwegian Wood – Haruki Murakami)

You might think that I forget you already.

I don’t think of you that much anymore.

I don’t worry about you these days.

You know, nostalgia and I are not good friends

I never look back

I don’t read old letters

I am free of our memories

But it never means that you are erased

I just let you be there

Be there. Stay there.

I will think of you again

I will love you when I feel like again

I might love you forever

But I will love others too

And maybe more than you

Can you accept that?

I have no intention to get rid of you

I am just being as selfish and as free

As you once were.

The ceiling

“I dream. Sometimes I think that’s the only right thing to do. ” (Sputnik Sweetheart – Haruki Murakami)

I like to stare at the ceiling. Thinking of nothing

Waiting for nothing

Or something that could happen to me. Anything

Any sign from the white blank ceiling

An tiny insect flying towards me

I blink for a second

Then again nothing

These moments belong to me. Impenetrable my mind

The only moments when I leave you aside

You have had so many things of me

I had given you everything

Except this blank ceiling

As you can tell

My world is made of not much

Just you and this one white empty space above my head.

This morning

The day of yesterday was over at 12.01 am. The night came at 12.02 am. After two hours listening to your music. The deal was off. I accomplished my promise with joy. I had been thinking of you the whole last day. You wished me sweet dreams. You said it was time to dream and not to think. I fell asleep. I fell happy. For a change.

The day starts again. Right now. I had made no deal with you today. No particular mission to accomplish. You are on my mind. I daydream. I feel happy. Again. It is sweet to feel happy in the morning. It never happened  for months. Almost something to celebrate.

I say hello to the world and to you.

I feel light.

Probably thanks to you.

Was it easy for you ?

“And once the storm is over you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.” (Kafka on the Shore – Haruki Murakami)

As promised I have been thinking of you

All day

It was easy

There had been more challenging deals than this one

But for you

How does it feel ?

To be in my thoughts all day long

Was it an easy deal?

Or was it challenging?

I choose destiny

“We each have a special something we can get only at a special time of our life. Like a small flame. A careful, fortunate few cherish that flame, nurture it, hold it as a torch to light their way. But once that flame goes out, it’s gone forever.” (Sputnik Sweetheart – Haruki Murakami)

What comes next is the question I cannot answer.

Things flow and grow the same way as destiny

I don’t withhold anything

I don’t control the situation

Some call it audacity

For me it is just life and the way I live it

First I want to put a name on you

Listen to your songs not alone this time

Hear you sing even though you might not want to

Wait and see

Where destiny can meet us

Or where you can meet me

Either in my thoughts

Or somewhere else

It would be easy for you

To catch me anywhere

As I had promised to think of you

This whole day

Wait and see

If you me and fate

Could become acquaintances

My mysterious man

I look at your picture again, you are “the man on the sand”

I listen to your music again, you are “the stranger of my nights”

I read your few daily words

Then they come more and more

Today I find myself waiting for them

Still no elucidation for me

You are mysterious, teasing and clever

I guess, I ask, I think of you

You are still mysterious

All I have is my imagination

You encourage me to use it

But tonight I just want you to tell me

Who you are

Simply tell me who you are

Turn around

Look at me

Hold out your hands to me

Tonight we stop the imagination

Imagining you is a waste

I want to see your face

Reveal to me who you are

Together with your peace and freedom

That you embody through your pictures

Open yourself to me

You are so close to that already, aren’t you?

With your songs, your words, your virtual smiles and all the things you make me dream about

Since I know you.

The first time

“Okay, let’s put it this way. I would like to sleep with you. But it’s alright if I don’t sleep with you. What I’m saying is I’d like to be as fair as possible. I don’t want to force anything on anybody, any more than I’d want anything forced on me. It’s enough that I feel your presence or see your commas swirling around me.” (The Elephant Vanishes – Haruki Murakami)

He got dressed slowly. The daylight started to show up. The fresh air from a summer morning arrived on her face. A bit chilly because there was a storm the night before. She pulled the sheet to cover her body. They had kissed for the last four hours. Nothing more. He said: “Why do we have to go through everything the first time? Don’t you agree with me?” She nodded. She agreed with him.

She had kissed him, touched his face, felt his lips and smelled his body. And that was all. While thunders grumbled outside, louder and louder. He gave and never took.

She agreed with him. They did not need to go through everything for the first time.

Complete daylight came to the room and surrounded her gently. Like his hands during the night. The night gave way to the day. Completely. He and she, however, they were just half way to give themselves to each other completely. But the suspension of desires was splendid. His beautiful face looked exactly the same, day and night. His expressions as well. He seemed to tell her in silence. “Incomplete act of love will leave you hungry for long”. The kind of hunger he knew she would ask for more and more. Again and again, long after he could be back.

Leaving her body incomplete with desires and half-satisfactions, he had found the way to break into her mind, her spirit and everything else inside her. Masterly conducted this very first time.

The man on the sand

Who are you?

Laying there on the sweet and smooth sand

I can’t see your face

Your head turning on the other side

You seem peaceful

Your calmness is contagious

Who are you?

Barefoot in the sand

I can’t see your face

This time you turn your back

You walk and fade away

Into sand and desert

You make me feel like disappear

Your freedom is contagious

Who are you?

Stranger on the sand

Does it really matter?

To know who you are.

You offer peace and freedom

In one photo shot

Does it really matter?

To know who you are.

Not yet cured

Forty-eight hours out of town

To an unknown city

Standing by the dock

Strong wind pushing clouds far away

Unlimited and tormented sky

Four seasons in a few hours

Warehouses, brown-stone buildings  transformed into lofts and trendy places

The port where I stand is still intact

Heart in normal condition

Pain under control

I haven’t thought of you once

Until this moment

Forty-eight hours without you in my mind

Is a record

Am I cured?

Not yet

But I feel free

So free finally

Like the wind

Sweeping away in one blow all my troubles

Remain nevertheless memories

Anchored to my heart

Heavy and rusty old memories

Like the gigantesque imposing ships by the port

Decide not to move in spite of the wind